[livingwith]

I have had CLL for 17 years and in the past 3 years I have had more complications with it. I was 33 when I found out I had it and typically you are much older is there anyone out there facing my same problems? I need someone who understands all that I go through. My family is great but unless you have gotten the cancer news you don’t understand fully
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[shopgirl]

Hi. I am a 57 year old female and I was diagnosed with CLL this past June.I, too, was in total shock and spent the next month crying off and on in disbelief. I am currently stage 0 and although I do tire easily and have body pain, I have always had a sleep disorder and fibromyalgia and so I attribut these symptoms to those condictions. You could probably be more help to me that I to you as you seem to have gone through 17 years thinking "when am I going to get sick?" I am gointg to have abdominal xrays and ultrasound next week to see if there is any spleen or liver enlargement and I have a three month appointment with my haematologist at the end of the month. I am so scared of the future and like, you, I find that family and friends do not comprehend what we are going through. I find that I am the one that seems to have to console THEM! I feel uncomfortable about being sick and I try to protect them. Crazy! You did not mention what your complications have been.I would be interested to know as I will eventually face the same. I am thinking of you and pray for the best. Stay strong and most of all, keep you sense of humour. I find that, that is what keeps me sane. Cheers!

[phyre1]

Hi to you both,
I am a 59 year old male who has just been (October08)diagnosed with Stage 0 CLL which showed up following blood tests that started with tests for Stage II hypertension.At that time (June08) my white cells showed some minor irregularities and my GP rightly suggested that he suspected i had a fatty liver which following an ultrasound, confirmed his suspicions.There was no liver damage and all other organs were clear except having a cyst on one of my kidneys which at this point is nothing to worry about.A further detailed blood test then confirmed the CLL. I was more disappointed at that diagnosis at the time as i had overcome my hypertension,my high blood sugar count and my excess weight(lost 11 kilos)and i felt fantastic particularly after how i had felt for the past six months or so.About two days after the Physician explained my CLL i think the news started to sink in a bit better however i surprised myself with my rather calm reaction to this news perhaps because i am a positive thinker and a fighter particularly when it comes to my survival(must be my animal instinct coming out).My attitude is "i can beat this " as i had beat my earlier diagnosed problems by my determination and doing something about it.I changed my diet radically,i walked and walked and walked(power walk) until i now walk 12 kilometers every day,hence the weight loss coupled with the diet change.To make matters worse i also had fairly severe osteoarthritis so walking some days was very painful and difficult but i pushed myself for the sake of my life.I now also have my osteoarthritis under control where i no longer have pain or difficulty walking.
For the past week i have scoured the internet for useful information on CLL and have found lots and lots and i am now convinced more than ever i can beat the CLL with the help of supplements and further changes in diet and mental attitude.i am very anti Western/conventional medicine so i have paid little attention to their hype but dug deeply into alternative and natural cures/help and this has given me great peace of mind. The unfortunate thing is that the supplements are very expensive and most located in the USA,so thats extra expensive for me being in Australia with the current exchange rate however i guess you cannot put a monetary value on your life.
Finally i would just say that any cancer that strikes the body is warning us that our body is OUT OF BALANCE.There must be a balance between MIND,BODY AND SOUL. So it is up to you to work out what is or has caused this imbalance and react accordingly.
If anyone would like to discuss their problems in greater depth and know more about some of what i have found on the internet i welcome you to contact me direct at [moderator note: e-mail address has been removed] as i am sure we can help one another with ideas and just talking sometimes ,even to a stranger is very therapeutic.My name is John

[RENEE MALZAHN]

Hi,
I was diagnosed in November 2009. I too have Fibromyalgia and have a bad sleep problem with chronic fatigue. It seems I have had some sort of problem forever. People must think I am some sort of Hypochondriac.
Do you have children? I have three. With all three I was very sick all day. The first I was so bad that I was hospitalized. I just wonder if all the aches and pains and nausea all these years have been connected in any way with this leukemia. I am actually very active,, well I was. I am now retired from running our cherry orchard. I did the irrigating and pruning and ran the picking crew. I am 66 years young. :-) I have a horse, but haven't ridden for a few years. Now that my husband is retired we bought a motorhome and spent a lot of time at a small lake in central Washington state. I have read that some chemicals may be connected to leukemia. Well working in the orchard, I have had my share of chemical exposure. I thought maybe the people reading our letters may help find our WHY we have this disease. I really am not worried about dying. I am more worried about my family. We are all Catholic and believe in Jesus and that we will be with him in heaven. Sometimes I think the doctors can't find a reason for a person hurting, so they diagnose fibro. Well I guess I have gone on a bit long. Our weather has been quite foggy and rainy here in Washington. I always feel better when the sun shines and I can get outdoors. I watch bald eagles down on the river. (our home overlooks the Yakima river) There also are deer down there. You just have to look at the right time.
I hope you are feeling better.
God bless you,
Renee'